So, it is my understanding that you are partial to a good Mudkip (By Cherbui forum user weremidget)

(reprinted)
Mudkips. For centuries the tiny blue abominations of life have fed humans. In 400 B.C. the Romans were spit-roasting them. In the early 0800s the Chinese were pickling them. By the late 1600s, the Spanish had started gutting the creatures and filling their insides with candy.

The fluffy freak of nature is best at a young age before it has even begun developing it?s muddy ground-like taste. The price of a Mudkip in your local Supermarket is surprisingly misleading. In fact, Mudkip, along with Bidoof and Seaking; are among the most commonly found creatures in the world. It was estimated in late 2005 that for every Human that has ever existed, there are sixteen Mudkips currently alive. More recent research has concluded that by now that figure has most definitely grown.

This overpopulation has been met in many places with contempt, and many of our own race believe the Mudkip to be a pest and are working hard towards its eradication.

In one of the southernmost countries of the world, New Zealand, farmers deal with constant invasion from these flipper-flapping little ****ers and a range of techniques are being put to work up and down the countryside to rid their homes of the pest.

Copious amounts of Mudkip-hunting, Poisoning and Blissey whoring have not significantly affected Mudkip numbers; however, one form of eradication has: explosive mines

The mines are motion-sensitive and each contain roughly 450g of C4 or Plastic Explosives. Considering Mudkips most often travel in packs and rarely venture far from their nests, the explosions usually wipe out hundreds, sometimes thousands of Mudkips at a time, both killing the Mudkips and destroying their eggs, destroying any chance of future respites.

Now that you know perhaps an unnecessary amount about the food you?re going to cook, let?s have a look at our recipe for today:

Mudkip Surprise

Ingredients:

500g (1 Whole) Mudkip
350g Flavoured Stuffing
1 Pomeg Berry (Optional)
1 Cup Water
? Cup Milk
Instant Gravy Mixture
Pretty Herbs and Spices

Method:

First, shave clean the Mudkip and remove the fins. I find it easiest to do this outside. It is recommended to make funny patterns in the Mudkips fur as you shave it, like when you?re eating toast and you make symmetrical images with your bite marks.*

Once you have a clean shaven Mudkip, kill it. Any method is suitable as long as it?s not poisoning and it leaves a reasonable amount of the meat to be eaten. Gut the Mudkip and stuff it. Yes stuff it, don?t be so bloody immature and just do it.

You should by now have a shaven, dead and stuffed Mudkip. Throw that in the oven on fanbake at about 180?c and we?ll move on to the gravy.

Simply whisk together the water, milk and mixture for the gravy. Cooking is optional.

Note: Spare gravy, I?ve found, dries a pale yellow colour and very, very hard. With the correct treatment, it could be used for a multitude of tasks from cementing to counterfeit gem creation.

Watch your Mudkip in the oven, once it?s blackened completely and possibly smoldering, you know it?s cooked fully. Take the Mudkip out of the oven and leave to cool down/go out.

Place your Mudkip on a platter with the berry in it?s mouth and garnish with the pretty Herbs and Spices. The gravy makes a balanced addition to the meal.

Congratulations, you?ve successfully cooked your first Mudkip Surprise. So, what?s the big surprise? It tastes like shit.

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*This creates a casual mood which may be required after digestion.